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Okay, I want to become an intuitive eater, but how do I shelve the weight loss goals? And why should I?
I’ve given a lot of thought about this both personally and professionally. On one hand, moving away from weight loss goals, the oh-so-degrading “body goals”, and so on can feel impossibly hard.
I want you to take a moment to acknowledge that, and to know that I acknowledge it, too. It is tough, especially when it seems like everybody and your neighbour is on a diet, a new eating plan, trying to “eat clean”, or some variant of the above.
Just because you’ve committed to intuitive eating doesn’t mean you automatically stop wanting the things you’ve always wanted. It doesn’t mean you will automatically love your body. It doesn’t equate to an automatic, amazing relationship with food.
These things take time to build, to curate, to refine.
But how do you move away from the weight loss goals and toward intuitive eating when you still want to lose weight?
I always ask my new clients to shelve their weight loss goals and give themselves permission to show up fully in the intuitive eating process. But there’s a few things I’ve done myself to move away from weight loss and to silence my inner body bashing critic.
Acknowledge that you are split. Part of you wants to look a certain way and part of you wants to feel a certain way. These desires are incongruent. If you focus on how you look, you may compromise how you feel; if you focus on how you feel, the way you look may not please you.
Work on strengthening the healthy self. Therapist and eating disorder specialist Carolyn Costin talks about how we must strengthen the healthy self to heal the eating disorder self. That’s how I feel about healing the relationship with food and body. Ditching the weight loss goal is preferable, but isn’t easy. To get there, you need to place it on the back burner so you can focus on repairing your healthy self.
Develop hobbies and interests outside of weight loss. When people stop dieting, there can be a loss of identity. Also: suddenly there’s so much time. What I recommend is brainstorming. Make a list of things you love to do as well as things you’re interested in trying out. For example, I knew I loved cooking, watching movies, pilates, yoga, reading in the park, walking, listening to podcasts, and spending time with friends. I thought it might be cool to take tarot classes, art classes, learn how to make delicious cocktails, travel, and try acroyoga. Suddenly you have a list of things to do when you feel stressed out.
Consider what your experience with weight loss and dieting has taught you. Has it made you happy? Has it improved your life? I think getting real about how miserable it has made you (or is currently making you) may be really helpful.
Consider what intuitive eating might look like in your life. Are you eating ice cream at the beach with your kids? Are you going for bike rides with your partner? Are you enjoying pizza and wine with friends? How will not dieting improve your life?