An Open Letter to the Wellness Industry: I Give My Clients Oreos and Ice Cream — and Here’s Why.

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I’m Sarah (she/her), a Toronto-based writer, anti-diet nutritionist, and Certified Intuitive Eating Counsellor. I teach folks how to have a healthy relationship with food and accept their natural body size.

Hi, I'm Sarah

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In the event we’re not acquainted, I’m a (holistic) nutritionist and certified intuitive eating counsellor who specializes in disordered eating and eating disorder recovery. I count my lucky stars every day that I get to do this meaningful and deeply fulfilling work.

I’ve definitely been seduced by the compelling rhetoric of diet culture in all of its degrees and forms, but for many reasons — many, many reasons — I planted myself in the anti-diet and weight-neutral camp. In part I do this for me, but mostly I do it for my clients and for all of the individuals struggling with food and body who deserve so much better. Of course, not everyone agrees with or echoes this positioning — understandable, given the coupling of health with aesthetics and the “change your body, change your life” (and by extension, “change your food, change your body”) rhetoric widely promoted by our world.

But perhaps more problematically, I’ve observed the quick co-opting of intuitive eating and body positivity by those in the wellness space. It’s often being used — inaccurately — to promote programs, podcasts, and other initiatives. I’ve also seen it criticized or adapted by individuals who have displayed limited knowledge of the model, its history, or its intended use.

It wouldn’t bother me all that much, and I wouldn’t feel so compelled to write this, if if weren’t for the fact that I am so protective of my clients and those in the eating disorder community. In a world with limited viable options for their treatment and recovery, in a world where they cannot share their stories for risk of being shamed or misunderstood, in a world that is so unfriendly and unsupportive of their recovery, I don’t view being anything but loud as an option. If they have the courage to show up and get uncomfortable every single day of the week, then I can find the courage to get uncomfortable, too.

Today, because I recognize few people are fortunate to do the work that I do, I’m here to defend and speak on behalf of it, as well as on the importance of an all foods fit approach to nutrition — a perspective I’ve arrived at through research, supplemental education, and experience working with hundreds of clients in various capacities.

I got into nutrition because I believed in the power of food. I studied food writing during my undergraduate and graduate degrees, wrote my dissertation around food, and kept a food blog for a couple of years. Some of the best memories of my life involve food. But I also can’t emphasize enough how much I struggled with food — that for close to fifteen years, I fought with my body, with my plate, and at various times, with exercise. Always, I fought with who I thought I needed to be, my own feelings of inadequacy and incompetence, and perpetual fears that I would never be enough (whatever enough meant.)

And while I got into nutrition to help heal others, the person I healed most was myself.

It was done by slowly unravelling the rules and shifting patterns of behaviour that kept me locked up in a prison of my own making. It was done by finding exercise I liked, and being honest with myself about why I was doing it. It was done by challenging myself with all of the foods I thought were “forbidden” or “off-limits.” It was done by deciding not to speak negatively to myself and committing to it. It was about doing so many things that were by no means sexy, no means profitable, and no means glamorous. It was messy and uncomfortable. But it was honest. And it gave me the permission to belong to myself.

When you think about your recommendations, I want you to think outside of your philosophy or even the evidence, and I want you to consider the person who will receive them. I want you to consider what it might be like for someone to grow up during the low-fat craze, to have become a teenager when the low-carb movement was getting started, to have entered into adulthood during the rise of detoxes and cleanses, to believe that sugar is a drug, to believe they must eat clean or starve. What is it like to grow up fearing food? To feel as though nothing is truly safe? How is someone to have a good relationship with food — and by extension, themselves — when they hear these messages?

I am a writer and I do believe words hurt. I believe shame hurts. I believe belittling people for their food choices hurts. I believe judging people whose stories we know nothing about, hurts. I believe fat-shaming hurts. I believe that if the dose makes the poison, it applies equally to medicine as it does to our conversations around food and nutrition. I believe that if we worry about getting cancer from cigarette smoke, we should probably worry about the relationship between the calorie counts posted so blatantly on chain restaurant menus and eating disorders. If that doesn’t seem on par to you, please ask yourself how you’ve come to care so much about physical health while thinking so little of mental health.

We use Oreos and ice cream in eating disorder recovery. It’s imperative that those struggling learn to make peace with all foods, and it’s my professional opinion that this ought to extend to all people. Anyone, at any time, can develop an eating disorder; they are not limited to young, female-identified people. Eating disorders are alive and well in the LGBTQ community. They find hosts in pregnant, post-partum, and post-menopausal women. They will settle in senior citizens. The guy on the football team could have an eating disorder. Poor people who can’t afford to take a day off get eating disorders. Black people get eating disorders. People in large bodies get eating disorders. Eating disorders do not discriminate.

Part of making peace with food requires shifting food patterns. Categorizing, prescribing, and demonizing foods is unhelpful. Teaching clients which foods to eat and which to minimize will keep their eating disorders (or disordered eating) content. There is this general sense, I think, that if people ate whole foods and were nourished, they would not suffer from mental illness, particularly eating disorders. This is false. My clients know more about nutrition than most nutritionists.

They are not here because they don’t “eat clean.” They are here because they do.

Clean eating. Whenever I hear it I can’t help but think of the angel in the house, the Victorian feminine ideal. It’s not even metaphorical, but literal: check out Halo Top ice cream. It’s so patriarchal in origin I can’t even bear to hear it. And yet here we are, talking about eating pure foods and cleansing. Which makes so much sense seeing how restriction is idealized in all of its forms, from weight loss to food choices to being quiet to staying small. Do we want to remain a conglomerate of Tinker Bells and Peter Pans and Wendys in Neverland, using anti-aging creams and elixirs and cosmetic surgery and diets to stay small and young in the world, or do we grow up and take up space in our grown up lives, as messy and mixed and uncomfortable as they can often be?

Yes, those with eating disorders eat avocados and kale salads and still, they come to us, suffering.

So yes, I use processed foods and play foods in practice (and eat them, too) because they help to shift someone’s patterns of behaviour. This is not just a nice idea, but validated by quality research. And it is effective.

I know this can be hard to hear as a holistic nutritionist or anyone who advocates for dietary change. I feel deeply conflicted about my designation. On one hand, I entered into this sphere because I believe in mind, body, and spirit wellness. I still believe in this. But given my experience in eating disorders and disordered eating, I do not see this reflected in our world. I see cleanses and detoxes with ‘weight loss’ plastered all over them, as though it were ethical or even possible to promise this. I see diets bolstered by bad science. I see the glamorization of disordered behaviour (see: over-exercising as “hardcore”, calorie counting, intense restriction.) You may not see the results of these actions when shit hits the fan, but I do.

And it’s often kept so impossibly quiet.

I’ve felt this way for over a year. A year ago I gave a workshop and I realized, mid-day, that I could no longer continue with the way I’d been practicing. I could no longer say the things coming out of my mouth. It felt inauthentic. I was tired of worrying about what I needed to give up rather than add in. Over the years I’ve been told to give up or limit red meat, eggs, caffeine, rice, quinoa, buckwheat, millet, bread, white pasta, nuts, nut butters, crackers, certain berries (mycotoxins!), all oil but coconut oil (what?), sugar, cookies, gluten, milk, yogurt, cheese…all dairy, processed foods, GMO popcorn (except GMO popcorn doesn’t pop, so technically there isn’t such a thing as GMO popcorn), potato chips…

Is the goal to live on air? 

I almost closed my business three or so months ago, at the start of summer. I was tired. I was tired of defending my stance. I felt like no one heard me. I felt — and continually to feel — enormously misunderstood. I was tired of feeling alone on my anti-diet island. I considered starting a new business. I considered jobs I never would have taken even six months ago.

But then I thought about how lonely my clients must feel. How all anti-dieters must feel. And how isolated and alienated and disconnected. And there in my own disconnect and exhaustion and alienation I found what I was looking for: reason. To keep going. To keep doing. To not give up when it was hard. To not give up when it was really hard. To pull it out.

And here we are: the future. It is still messy and challenging, but I guess you just get more comfortable playing in the dirt.

I work with clients somewhere between five and seven days a week. I work out of a centre on weekdays and Saturdays, and see my private clients in the evening and at whatever other times I can manage.

Somewhere in there, I succeed in sending the odd newsletter, write blog posts, and update my social media accounts.

I answer emails.

I show up at events.

I give talks.

I write. I want to write more. I will.

All of this feels different and uncomfortable now. It means going into a room and hoping to plant seeds. But as hard as it feels — and if you do this work, you realize what a mountain we have to climb — it’s not nearly as hard as struggling and recovering from an eating disorder. And if my clients can do that, then I can do the hard work of making their lives just a little bit easier in whatever capacity I can. And for those who feel there is no future without weight loss, no future without restriction, trust me when I say this isn’t true. It’s possible.

It’s hard, but it’s always possible. And trust me when I say the payoff, while perhaps not as good financially, is so much better.

If you’re a professional interested in joining the anti-diet movement and looking to incorporate HAES principles into your practice, I recommend the following resources. While many of us work with disordered eating and eating disorders, this isn’t a requirement.

The Food Psych podcast with Christy Harrison

Intuitive Eating by Elyse Resch and Evelyn Tribole (2nd edition)

The Intuitive Eating Workbook by Elyse Resch and Evelyn Tribole

Body Respect by Linda Bacon

The Body Myth by Margo Maine

The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf

Embody: Learning to Love Your Unique Body by Connie Sobczak and Elizabeth Scott

The Association for Size Diversity and Health

Comments +

  1. Kaylyn Madany says:

    You bring up a lot of good points! Health should definitely be the focus and restriction should not be in our vocabulary. I’ve never been into diets, even though the low-fat craze was still in full force when I was a teenager, but I am into nutrition and I’m wondering if somewhere in "all foods fit", we should define "food". The food industry would have us believe that a lot of "food-like products" full of artificial flavors and void of nutritional value are actually foods. Oreos would probably fall into this category, since they don’t contain any real chocolate or cream! I’m not here to attack homemade baked goods that use recipes that have been around for decades because that’s real food. But oreos and storebought ice cream might not fit in the food category. Fake food only confuses our bodies, leads to cravings/lack of control (due to inadequate nutrition), and really doesn’t taste that great. I think nutrition should be about physical and mental health, for sure, but it should be focused on rea food, not processed "foods" (are they actually foods?) that will only make people sicker in the long run. Of course not all processed food is bad, but a lot of it contains excessive amounts of sugar to cover up the fact that it has few or no nutrients. Not only that, it is debatable whether processed sugar is even a food at all. Since glucose is not an essential nutrient (our bodies can produce glucose in the liver, provided we are eating adequate protein), it really is only there for taste. I’m only 24, so I can’t speak about the "good old days", but I have a feeling that even 50 years ago, sugar consumption was much, much lower, yet eating disorders were much less common. Could it be that the low-fat craze and subsequent rise in sugar consumption hasn’t been doing our mental health any favors either?

    • Sarah Berneche says:

      Hi Kaylyn,

      If you look closely at what I’ve written, the purpose of intuitive eating is to shift patterns of behaving with food. This is an important and fundamental step in developing a healthy relationship with food. If we were to define what constitutes as food and what doesn’t, we would create a very conditional environment — one that does not serve the eating disorder community, nor, I would argue, the greater community. No one snack or meal will cause irreparable harm, in the same way that no one snack or meal will cure you. Everything works together.

      You’re also leaving out a good portion of the North American population who cannot afford or who do not have access to what you might call ‘real’ food. It’s nice to think we could all live on farm fresh food and homemade baked goods, but that’s not a feasible reality for many individuals living in poverty or struggling through food insecurity. When we suggest only ‘real’ food counts, we actively encourage a very classist view of nutrition. If we’re invested in creating better health for everyone, it would be far more productive to address the socioeconomic determinants of health and give everyone the ability to choose what they eat. This is currently not feasible given our broken system. Outlawing processed foods would not correct the underlying issues and may, in fact, worsen things.

      There’s no evidence to suggest we need to define ‘food’. All food, processed and whole, is made of chemicals. To label what constitutes as food and what doesn’t is to suggest we only eat for physiological reasons, when in fact we eat for many, many reasons. While you may not personally find Oreos pleasurable, many people do, and they can fit within a healthy diet along with a variety of other foods. I would be interested to know your sources that connect processed foods to body confusion, cravings, lack of control, etc. Much of this is based on the Yale addictions model, which is inherently flawed. I would encourage you to read Intuitive Eating by Elyse Resch and Evelyn Tribole, which outlines all of this.

      I would argue that glucose is in fact an essential macronutrient, just like fat and protein. Athletes require it for recovery. Women generally require it for thyroid function. Our brains need glucose. Depending on protein for glucose doesn’t make sense economically or environmentally, and isn’t ideal for the body, either. It also assists with satiety. I provided a link to a very good study about glucose in a previous comment. I’m not entirely sure if you are commenting to convince me or commenting to learn.

      Eating disorders were not well diagnosed 50 years ago. BED didn’t become a formal diagnosis until 2013. I agree that the low-fat craze created a lot of havoc, but the low-carb craze is doing irreparable harm as well. As eating disorders are biopsychosocial disorders, they are shaped by many, many things. Eating disorders are on the rise, but that’s not to suggest they were in any way ‘low’ 50 years ago. What’s far more likely is that they were undiagnosed or misdiagnosed — there’s data to support this.

      • Kaylyn Madany says:

        Thanks for your reply. My source about processed foods and cravings, lack of control, etc. is The Dorito Effect by Mark Schatzker, which I mentioned in my last reply on the other comment thread. I’m not sure how advocating real food is classist. My dad is a doctor and he prescribes a no-sugar, no-starch "diet" to many of his patients with metabolic disorders, and most of them have had success with it, despite probably not being the most well-off. I realize it’s harder in a city, but a lot of people can have a small garden. And I’m not talking about organic once grass-fed either. I found what I needed at a regular grocery store on a college student budget the past couple years and probably actually saved money by not buying my afternoon pick me up pop-tart or candy bar at the campus store (that adds up!).

        I did read the article about glucose and the brain, but it’s worth noting that the brain can use ketones as well as glucose, to supplement the glucose provided by gluconeogenesis. Also, I could be wrong, but I think fruits and vegetables contain all the glucose we could need, if we need dietary glucose at all.

        I am passionate about health and nutrition, even though I do not have a degree in dietetics, but I think we will just have to agree to disagree on some points. I do agree that intuitive eating is important in treating ED’s, but to say that the general population should be following an "all foods fit" approach might be leading a lot of people to get sicker in the long run. I think many people would benefit from an intuitive eating style that incorporates boundaries for physical health and nutrition. But maybe I’m taking about a different sector of the population than the one with which you work, so perhaps I am reading the wrong blog (for my background. I’m sure it is VERY helpful to those with ED’s). I see where you’re coming from and I hope you do the same for me. I’m sorry for wasting your time with these debates. Best wishes to you in your practice!

  2. Amber Kemp says:

    This post helped me and my recovery so much. You’ve helped and inspired me in so many ways so I nominated you for the Blogger Recognition Award 2017. You can check it out here

    • Sarah Berneche says:

      Wow, thanks so much, Amber! I’m SO glad I could help you along in your recovery. You deserve it, darling. x

  3. Rachel Austin says:

    Thank you for this. It made me feel less alone. Thank you so much for all of your hard work. Keep fighting the good fight! 🙂

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