The holidays can bring up a lot of complicated feelings.

For some people, this season is filled with connection, celebration, and meaningful traditions. For others, it can feel like navigating an emotional minefield where food, family dynamics, body comments, and diet culture all show up at the same table. Maybe it’s Aunt Marry, who announces their latest diet before dinner has even started. Perhaps it’s the comments about your body changing, whether they are framed as compliments, concerns, or jokes. Being around family members who bring up old wounds or relationships that still feel complicated. The person in your life who is deeply immersed in wellness culture and wants to talk about “clean eating,” detoxes, or what everyone “should” be doing after the holidays.

And then there’s the food. Cookies, appetizers, family recipes connected to memories, traditions, and the people you love. Meals that are bigger and possibly very different from your everyday routine.

If you have a history of feeling anxious, guilty, or out of control around food during the holidays, it makes sense that this time of year might bring up some stress.

You may find yourself thinking: “How do I enjoy my holidays without overeating?” “How can I avoid feeling uncomfortable in my body after eating?”“How do I handle all of the food without losing control?”

The answer, of course, isn’t to get better at restricting. It isn’t to “be extra good” before the holidays so you can justify enjoying yourself later. And it is not to create another set of rules that you have to follow perfectly.

Instead, the goal is to create more safety, trust, and flexibility around food.

Here are some ways to support yourself through the holiday season.

Give Your Body Enough Food Before Holiday Meals

One of the most common things people do before a big holiday meal is try to “save room.”

You may skip breakfast, eat a very small lunch, or tell yourself you will be more disciplined earlier in the day so you can enjoy dinner later. This often feels logical! But what happens when you arrive at the meal completely ravenous?

When you are intensely hungry, your body is not in a place where it can calmly assess what sounds good, what feels satisfying, or when you have had enough. Your brain is focused on getting your needs met. And honestly, that makes sense.

Hunger isn’t a failure to control yourself; it’s your body communicating with you.

Instead of asking, “How can I eat less before the holiday meal?” consider asking: “What would help me to feel more grounded and present?”

Eating regular meals and honouring your hunger as much as possible can actually help you feel more calm around food because your body does not have to fight for nourishment.

Challenge the Diet Mentality at the Holiday Table

The holidays often bring out a lot of food rules. You might notice thoughts like: “I should fill up on vegetables.” “I shouldn’t eat that.” “I need to balance this out tomorrow.”“I need to be careful because there will be so much food.” These thoughts can feel automatic, especially if you have spent years absorbing diet culture messages about what makes an eating choice “good” or “bad.”

This season can be an opportunity to gently question those beliefs. What foods do you genuinely enjoy? What do you naturally feel drawn toward? What would you choose if you were not worried about judgment or what you think you are supposed to eat?

There is no moral value attached to choosing salad over stuffing, or to choosing extra cookies, cheese, or your favourite holiday dessert. You’re allowed to eat the foods you love every day of the week, including on holidays, and to consider what brings you pleasure. Making choices based on what feels satisfying instead of what you think you should be doing is key to recovery. 

Practice Unconditional Permission Around Holiday Foods

Many people experience feeling “out of control” around holiday foods they have restricted for years. The cookies become impossible to stop thinking about, the dessert table feels overwhelming, and the foods you normally avoid suddenly feel urgent (cheese plate, anyone?) This isn’t because you don’t have discipline.

Often, it is because restriction creates scarcity. (More on physical, mental, emotional, and nervous system restriction.) 

When your brain believes something is limited, forbidden, or about to disappear, it makes sense that you want more of it.

This is why unconditional permission is such an important part of healing your relationship with food and experiencing a guilt-free holiday.  When you truly know that you can have a food again, it becomes less urgent. When you stop approaching food with fear, you can begin experiencing more choice. It may feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you have spent years trying to control your eating. But freedom around food comes from allowing yourself to have it, not from trying to become better at resisting it.

Slow Down and Help Your Body Feel Safe

If you notice yourself eating quickly during holiday meals, it does not mean you are doing anything wrong. Many people speed up around food when they feel anxious, excited, overwhelmed, or worried about judgment. Our eating patterns are connected to our nervous system. When your body senses stress, it makes sense that slowing down and being present can feel difficult.

Rather than forcing yourself to eat differently, try supporting your body first. You might take a few deep breaths before sitting down. Maybe you notice your feet on the floor. Try stepping away for a moment if conversations become overwhelming. Maybe you help yourself to feel physically comfortable with a cozy blanket, warm drink, or quiet space afterward. These small moments of grounding can help your body to feel safe and support nervous system re-wiring. 

Respond to Yourself With Compassion

Even with the best intentions, there may be moments when you eat past fullness. Maybe you eat more dessert than you expected or planned, leave the meal feeling physically uncomfortable despite your best attempts to honour fullness, notice old thoughts about your body showing up. 

This is where self-compassion matters most. Shame often keeps people stuck in the very patterns they are trying to change. Instead of criticizing yourself, try approaching yourself with curiosity. What would it feel like to see yourself through softer eyes? What would you say to someone you love who was struggling in the same way? If your inner critic shows up, can you respond instead of automatically believing it? You might ask: “What do I need right now?” Maybe you need rest, comfort, space away from a difficult conversation (like Aunt Mary’s diet talk!), or simply the reassurance that one meal or one holiday season doesn’t determine your health or worth. 

The Holidays Don’t Have to Be Another Battle With Food

If you have spent years feeling anxious around food, the holidays can feel intimidating. But this season does not have to be another opportunity to prove that you can control yourself. It can be an opportunity to practice trust, notice hunger, and enjoy the foods that bring you pleasure. 

Food is meant to be part of celebrations, traditions, and connection, and you deserve to experience those moments without guilt taking over the table. For help with this, schedule a complimentary call by clicking here or learn more about my services here.